8 Things I Know About Myself. (It's up to you if you wanna know.)

Tagged by my beloved best friend, Viva.

• Each blogger must post these rules first.
• Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
• Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules
• At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names
• Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

EIGHT COMPLETELY RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME

1. I am DEEPLY afraid of dogs. When I say deeply, it means it’s serious. Even if it’s just a poodle, I’ll scream. Honestly, Tatagalugin ko ah, hindi makakatulong kung sisindakin mo ako ng galit mo para tumahimik ako, or you’d say: “Aso lang ‘yan, ano ba? Don’t you trust me?” It just doesn’t work. A dog bit my drawing hand when I was four. Just imagine the trauma: you are 4 years old and so happy knowing that you can draw. Suddenly your drawing hand is all bloody. Get what I mean? So kahit si Dao Ming Si pa ang magalit sakin, mas takot parin ako sa aso. The best thing to do: shoo the dog away, squeeze my hand and tell me: “Okay na, wala na yung aso.”

2. I have six toes in my left foot. Well, semi-six toes because the pinky toe has a Siamese twin (so that makes my toes six). I’m proud of it coz they say it’s a lucky charm.

3. My favorite color is GREEN but most of my stuffs are black. But lately, I’ve been buying more green stuff: new green wallet, green jelly flats, green headband, green jacket. I also prefer earth colors, or anything with grey undertones: moss green, brown, rust, colors like that. You’ll never see me wear bright colors. The only bright color I wear is fuchsia pink.

4. I never liked balloons, even as a child. In parties, I always wondered what a balloon’s purpose is. I also gave up Barbie very early – like 5 years old. When I was six, I started to think playing with Barbie is limiting and expensive. So I began painting my own paper dolls, using Alicia Silverstone as my model. I also painted the clothes she wore in “Clueless”. I’ve never been happier.

5. My all time favorite MTV is “Hole in My Soul” by Aerosmith. I am disappointed that I cannot find it in YouTube. I also think God really wanted me to see that MTV when I was young, so I would have a preview of my current life. Haha.

6. I like painting on OTHER people’s Chucks, clothes, bags or whathaveyou’s. I find it difficult to actually think of anything to paint on MY stuff. I bought a pair of sneakers (a Vans-looking sneakers) last June and I still haven’t painted anything on it. Almost all of my clothes are plain: most of my shirts don’t have any print and I don’t have super distressed jeans.

7. I like wearing jackets or sweaters, even if it’s a sunny day. Reason: I’d rather feel warm in a jacket than toast under the sun. Jackets can also be stylish, slimming and comfortable. It’s like a built in hug. I guess my bed setting when I sleep can also reflect this “need for warmth”. I am surrounded by lots of pillows. I make this sort of rectangular space (where my body perfectly fits) by framing it with lots and lots of pillows.

8. I have a big radius of personal space. And it’s very important to me. When people invade it, I really get so upset. Example 1: people in jeepneys get TOO near me like my shoulders are tucked under their armpits (Sheeeeeeet. Kadiri.) Example 2: When people who aren’t close to me start being touchy (ma-va-violate talaga ang personal space ko, unless ikaw yung crush ko.) I also can be moody when my personal space is invaded. One time, I really wanted to draw in the living room but my lola had guests, who were really irritatingly noisy. I went to my room and cried like a brat. Odiba, ang arte ko.

Now, I tag everyone who read this. Haha.

Pagbabago

Sa loob ng isang buwan, maraming nag-iba sa buhay ko. Nang ako ay nag-birthday, tila hindi lang isang taon ang itinanda ko. Para akong tumada ng sampung taon - sa dami ng mga bagay na kinailangang tanggapin at mga taong sinubukang patawarin. Marami akong natutunan. At ngayon, nandito na nga ang pagbabago.

Tatlong taon rin akong tila nasa iisang lugar. Para bang nakatigil ang oras. Parang isang panaginip. Pero ngayon, gising na ako. Kahit tila napa-aga ang gising ko, pipilitin kong imulat ang mga mata ko - sa katotohanan.

Ikakandado ko na ang nakaraan, marahil, kasama ka. Isasama ko doon ang lahat ng walang katuturang pag-asa, ang lahat-lahat ng mga "posibilidad". Isasara ko. Hindi ko na muling bubuksan pa. Pero ipapabaon ko sa yo ang nalalabing pag-ibig ko - maligaya ako para sa iyo. Wlaang halong biro.

Bubuksan ko ang panibagong yugto ng buhay ko. Bagong katotohanan. Bagong ako.


Ginamit ang drawing na ito sa Super! (Saturday, August 18, 2007)

Ligaya

Kung tatanungin kita kung maigaya ka, anong isasagot mo?

Marahil nag-iisip ka na ngayon. Tila inuulit mo ang mga pangyayari kanina, o ang mga pangyayari noong nakaraang araw. Noong nakaraang isa pang araw. Pero nabubuklod nga ba ng panahon ang kaligayahan? Ano nga ba ang kaligayahan?

Sabi ni Aristotle, iba ang kaligayahan sa kasiyahan. Ang kaligayahan ay hindi saklaw ng oras. Ang kaligayahan daw ay isang reyalidad, nakadepende nalang raw sa indibidwal kung makikita niya ito. Hindi rin ito panandaliang damdamin, di tulad ng kasiyahan. Hindi porke't malungkot ako ngayong araw ay hindi ako maligaya. (Iinglisin ko ang susunod, mas magiging okay kasi sa ingles.) Happiness is not defined by the immediate circustances we are facing. It's not the sum whether you were happy today, if you're happy yesterday or the other day. Happiness is a reality that we choose to see.

Madalas, isina-aalang-alang natin ang mga desisyon natin sa buhay sa ating kaligayahan. May mga bagay tayong ginagawa dahil doon tayo maligaya, may mga bagay tayong itinitigil dahil sa tingin natin, hindi na tayo maligaya doon. Pero paano natin masasabi kung saan tayo maligaya, o kung maligaya nga ba tayo?

Kung tatanungin mo ako, hindi ko lang iisipin kung ngayon, maligaya ba ako. Hindi ko iisipin ang ngayon. Hindi ko iisipin ang nakaraan. Hahanapin ko yun sa sarili ko, hindi mula sa mga ala-ala, hindi mula sa iba.